Understanding The Lord's Will For Your Life

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

First, The Broken Road That Led Me To Ask For More

Let's start with my brokenness, because it's the basis and foundation for who I was and how much the Lord transformed me. If I don't start there, then the rest of the story won't make much sense!

In short, I grew up in a Christian home under the hand of hardship and abuse. Jesus was present, but not actively transforming anyone's life - which led to abuse and sadness to reign supreme in our home. I could go into detail, but for the sake of the story, I'll just give you the headlines so you get why I struggled as an early adult.

First, much of my relationship with one of my parents was abusive: emotional, rather extreme verbal, and at times, physical. It caused me to go into a deep depression and wish for death. During my 5th grade year I spent most of it begging God to take my life, and I contemplated suicide often. So often that a spirit of suicide attached to me and tormented me long into adulthood- and it was a demon I had to cast out and get rid of for good.

Second, I became a pawn in the hands of my other parent, a child to use to get what they wanted. One of the ways I was used was through my schooling. I was pulled in and out of schools from kindergarten until 6th grade, when I finally had a permanent classroom and my learning truly began. When I was being "homeschooled" I was left to wander in the woods to learn to science, given the books to learn math and English, and when I asked questions or said I couldn't understand something, the books were thrown at me and I was told to, "figure it out!"

By the time I got to 5th grade I assumed no one on the planet was as stupid as I was. I don't say that because I was that, I say that because children can't teach themselves what adults refuse to allow them to learn.

6th grade was the first time I was enrolled in school and allowed to stay there. At that point I was excellent at reading, because it allowed me to escape my reality, but I had a 1st grade understanding of English and math, 2nd grade at best. And I had absolutely no foundation for history or science, let alone anything else.

Early that year I took home a D- on a science test, and one of my parents told me, "No child of mine is allowed to be stupid in this house! You are my daughter and God didn't make me dumb!"

To a normal kid that would have been a horrible experience. But somewhere in that message the Lord allowed me to hear these words, "No daughter of mine is dumb." I clung to those words. I wasn't stupid after all! Just untrained and uneducated. But maybe that meant I could be trained, and I could be educated.

That paradigm shift changed things for me. I began to study, work hard, and try my best to learn everything I could. I remember the day math clicked for me and things started to make sense. Although I will tell you, certain aspects never did. I still, for the life of me, can't figure out fractions. Probably a 2nd grade lesson.

But after that day things changed, and I began to dream of the day that I could leave home for good and never come back. And I did.

Until one day, the Lord sent me back. Because sometimes He works like that, and wouldn't you like to know why He's working like that when He's working?

Hindsight is 20/20, but what if your current vision became a sharp picture of what He's doing today? Instead of thinking, "One day I'll understand..." but that you understand now how He's moving and working?

I gave you a picture of my childhood to help set the foundation for why I prayed for certain things as an adult. Without understanding where the prayers came from, it would be hard to know my heart behind it. And you wouldn't be able to see the unbelievable grace and mercy God had on me to get me where I am today.

The Beginning Of Understanding His Will For Your Life

When I surrendered all of it to Christ, not just my life and heart, but my will, mind and emotions, I had an incredible experience with the Lord. It's like He bathed me in His love. And for the first time ever, I felt loved. Truly loved, like maybe my life wasn't an accident.

Something I had struggled with throughout my entire childhood was believing I shouldn't have been born, or why would I be hated so much? Hatred has a tendency to make people feel like they are a mistake, when the truth is God didn't mistakenly make you!

In fact, scripture says so! Psalms 139 declares that the Lord knit us together within our mother's womb.

When my daughter was young she would ask how she came to be. I would tell her, "I made you!" That isn't exactly true, and I know that. But I love her so much that I would kiss her all over and say, "I made you! And God made you!" Except according to the scriptures, God places us and forms us. We women, we are the wonderful chosen vessels God uses to bring forth His created children.

But there's another verse I want to show you:

“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
    to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
    and by your will they were created
    and have their being."

Revelation 4:11

God didn't just create you, it was His will that you were created and are here. He chose you. In fact, this word will is the same word Jesus used all throughout the scriptures to declare that He was doing the will of the Father who sent Him. But in the original Greek, this word in Revelation 4 is translated as pleasure, not will. It's the same word Jesus used, but the meaning behind it is that it was God's will and pleasure to create you, for you to have your being. He was pleased to make you!

This is the beginning of understanding His will for you life - it's knowing He wanted you here, He made you to be here, and He knit you together for it is HIS will for you to be here. You are not an accident. 

Shortly after the giving over of my life things began to get hard. Like, real hard. Life should be easy with the Lord, right? But no, I was led through some extremely tough seasons of my life, and I once found myself looking at a horoscope to just try to make sense of all the hardship - but that didn't help me make sense of it either. It just invited in a demon of the zodiac that I eventually had to cast out.

I wouldn't recommend trying that road- it failed in Babylon and it will fail you too. Not to mention, it won't get you any closer to understanding the Lord's will for your life which is all any of us really want when we seek out the occult. (Horoscopes are the occult, just in case you think it's an innocent little ditty about your birth month...)

And then, after trying to understand what God was doing and failing. After looking up signs and wonders and searching the internet for some shred of advice, and coming up empty, then I went to the Word. I opened my Bible and found Solomon's prayer. And that began this entire journey to understanding what God is up to when He's up to it.

The Starting Line: Praying For Wisdom

I first started praying for wisdom because I was so lost in the discipleship 101 training course the Lord had me in that I felt I needed help to get through it. There was a part of me that still believed I was stupid, and therefore not smart enough to get what He was up to. But I wanted to. With everything in me, I wanted to get it, to get what He was doing.

Let me just tell you what He was up to at the time:

• identifying all of the places I had been hurt as a child and confronting the people who had hurt me
• pulling me away from people and places that kept me chained in darkness
• shedding a light on the depression and the dark cloud I had lived under all my life: which made the dark cloud and depression go crazy (light has a way of doing that)
• He brought my anxiety to the forefront, and wouldn't let me escape the healing process
• He brought me back to my childhood home so that I could tackle some of the issues that led to my feelings of being unloved
• He brought me to my future husband
• my best friend was diagnosed with cancer - which was the start of repositioning my identity and who, or what, my identity was placed in

And that's just the beginning. I can look back and see clearly all the ways He was intimately involved in each puzzle piece - pulling up pieces that didn't fit into His overall design for who I am, and placing other pieces that would bring clarity to the big picture.

Some of those pieces that were placed by others (trauma, hurts, betrayals) have a hard time popping out of place when they've been glued down by the one who placed it! And that's very much what He was doing, picking at the glue to get the pieces unstuck. Then removing it (not always gently) to get it out of the way so He could place a healing piece, or a piece that declared His glory, righteousness, and truth.

None of it happened without a massive mess, and that's what brought me to this prayer: Lord teach me Your will for my life. And give me wisdom to see what You're doing.

I wrote a prayer on a notecard and stuck it in my Bible. I prayed it every day for years. I'm not 100% positive where it is now, because I updated the prayer some time back. But the first one I wrote down was in January 2013.

About 3 years after I first started praying this prayer a friend came to me for advice and after I spoke she said, "You're so wise. How did you come to know wisdom like this?"

God was answering my prayer. He was giving me wisdom and changing my mind to think like His. Instead of my thoughts, He was giving me His thoughts. Instead of my plans, I was beginning to see His hand in His plan He had for me. But that moment was prophetic, because for the first time someone else could see what God had been doing internally for some time.

It takes time for a train to get started and up to speed, but once it does, it's almost impossible to stop it from moving forward. Prayer is like it - it takes time for it to get moving in your life, to get you up to speed. But once it does, not even the devil can stop what God is doing. And he better watch out! Cause your God-train is going to run him right over!

So, let me give you the prayer I have written down now. It's not the original, but it's just as good, if not better. If you want to understand what God's will is for your life, it's starts with wisdom. Wisdom is the beginning of all understanding.

"Get wisdom, get understanding;
    do not forget my words or turn away from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
    love her, and she will watch over you.

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
    Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
    embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will give you a garland to grace your head
    and present you with a glorious crown.

Listen, my son, accept what I say,
    and the years of your life will be many.

I instruct you in the way of wisdom
    and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
    when you run, you will not stumble.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
    guard it well, for it is your life."

Proverbs 4:5-13

The Prayer For Wisdom

Father God, I pray Your Spirit would rest heavy upon me.

Give me the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,

Give me the Spirit of counsel and might,

the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.

And I pray that You would grant to me according to Your riches and glory,

that I would be strengthened with might through Your Spirit in my inner man,

that Christ would dwell in my heart through faith.

I pray that I would be rooted and grounded in love,

to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge,

and that I would be filled with all the fullness of God.

Amen!

This prayer (that I pray over my children as well) is a combination of two Bible passages: Isaiah 11:2, Ephesians 3:16-17 & 19. It will change you.

I have one more for you, which is taken from Ephesians 1:17-18.

"Lord, give me that spirit of wisdom;

grant me that spirit of revelation so that I will be captured by Jesus Christ.

And over the eyes of my heart,

I pray that You would release shafts of revelation light into them,

that I might know the hope of Your calling,

that I might know the glorious inheritance that lives inside of me,

and that I might know the surpassing greatness of Your power that works in me."

Amen

The Middle Miles: Calling On The Lord

Fast-forward several years from the time I first prayed for wisdom, and the Lord interrupted my faith journey again. I was 7 months pregnant with my first child when my best friend passed away from cancer.

A few days after my daughter was born my mom came to visit. It was during her stay that I realized she had some form of dementia, and I felt like my world was falling apart. I no longer had a best friend, but now I didn't have a mom - or rather, the mom I knew was slowly slipping away.

The next 2 years were filled with grief for me. A few weeks after my mom left I went into the kitchen and pulled up Facebook. I saw something (a bit of gossip really), that I needed to call my bestie about immediately. I pulled up her name and I almost clicked the call button when I realized she was gone. I couldn't call her.

I sank to the floor in my kitchen and cried out to the Lord in grief. Instead of silence I heard these words, "Call Me!" Shocked, I said back, "What?" And the Lord responded again and said, "Call Me!" I was a little slow with it so I asked, "You want me to call You?" And I swear to you, it's as if the Holy Spirit sighed in my heart and then He said patiently, "Yes, Jessica, "call" Me and tell Me what you would have said to her." So I did. I began to tell Him everything I would have said to her.

It felt weird at first, like I shouldn't be "gossiping" with the Lord, but here I was. That began a new way of operating in our relationship. I began to see Him as someone I could confide in and share everything with Him. I moved from praying to Him, to conversating with Him on all matters of life. He became my best friend. He became my 'mom' and confidant. He became my best friend.

I was lost in how to be a mom, and anytime I called my mom to ask for advice, many of our conversations would take an angry turn. At the time it was hurtful, but I recognize now that the disease does this. As the person is struggling with what they can't remember, other emotions come to the forefront because of fear.

While that was a very sad part of my life in my relationship with my mom, it was a huge milestone with the Lord. I began to trust Him with all of my parenting woe's, and He gave me great advice. He would nudge me on the paths I needed to take when my daughter had acid reflux or wasn't sleeping well. He would direct my steps when I didn't know how to handle her development. I consulted Him on everything parenting - and it grew into all areas of my life. 

In some ways it was the loneliest time of my life. In other ways, I felt like I was gently cradled by His hands as He led me day by day in everything I did. I began to trust Him with my heart, my thoughts. I learned He wouldn't condemn me for the thoughts I have, but gently led me to think above my circumstances. He taught me to "Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value]." (Colossians 3:2 AMP)

According to Google, the middle miles of a marathon are the most boring ones to get through. "The middle miles of a marathon, roughly miles 10–18, are a critical, often monotonous, "grind" where initial adrenaline fades, requiring mental focus and steady pacing to avoid burnout before the final, harder, six miles. This phase is about conserving energy, maintaining a consistent pace, and breaking the race into smaller, manageable mental chunks."

Eventually we'll all get there in our faith journey. We had some big firework moments in the beginning of our faith walk - some amazing encounters with the Lord that caused us to go, "Whoa! You are so real! More real than anything on earth!" But then, we hit a part of our journey where the Lord isn't causing these firework blasts to go off every 6 months to a year. We're in that monotonous part of the run where His voice is softer, we have to become more still to hear it.

We can't rely on those early feelings of adrenaline that got us through the tough beginning miles, and we have to find a steady pace to avoid quitting the race.

This part is important, because this is where many Christians become 'lukewarm.' They can't "feel" the Lord anymore, so they assume He isn't there or doesn't care. They can't hear Him the same way they once did, so they stop praying and talking with Him how they did in the beginning. Maybe your Bible study falls off. Or worse, you're still doing it but just going through the motions and keeping up appearances.

And it's here that the Lord interrupted me to tell me the secret to keep going. "‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ " (Jeremiah 33:3)

I began to call Him. Instead of calling friends or family, I called Him instead. I told Him everything in my heart: my worries, fears, cares, anxieties. I told Him other things too: my plans (which He changed), my thoughts on His Word (which He corrected), my ideas, my gossip...all of it.

He changed all of my plans around. He had been doing that - but this unlocked a new level with Him when I began to tell Him everything. It gave Him permission to intercede differently than He had before.

I got pregnant with twins (not my plan). I went through some severe pain in bringing them into this world (not my plan). I had a few hard years as a mom adjusting to having three kids, 2 and under. Also, not my plan! But could I trust that this was His? Could I lay mine down and still call on Him when He changed my plans? Could I still say yes and not be offended when He switched things up on me?

Because here's the thing, His ways are not at all like ours. And if we can't even handle Him switching up the plan on us, then we definitely can't handle it when He downloads things into our mind and heart that catches us completely off-guard and throws us through a loop! Some of the things He shares will make us feel crazy, or like we've stepped into an alternate universe. And if we can't learn to handle our plans being altered for His glory, we will definitely fall over when He shares His understanding of things! We'll keel over from the weight of it!

The second part of understanding the Lord's will for your life, is calling on Him. And then keep calling on Him. Tell Him everything about yourself, and let Him change your plans.

This part was critical for my faith journey - because without surrendering every plan to Him, letting Him have my entire future, I wouldn't have been able to understand His will for me. The surrender part comes first, and then comes the understanding. But first we have to let it all go, all of it. Let Him change it, remake it, shift it, expand it. Whatever He wants to do, give Him full access!

The other key to calling on the Lord, is that when you share your thoughts with Him, He will want to change those. He will listen with incredible patience, but then He molds them to His Word. Your thoughts will have to line up with His Word, or understanding His will, will never happen.

That's why this middle part is critical. This is where "the rubber meets the road," so to speak. This is where we get serious in our training, and everything in us begins to conform to His image. His wisdom set up my foundation. But opening myself up to Him allowed Him to begin shaping me as His temple. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and in order for His Spirit to live and reign within us, He has to conform every thought, feeling, behavior and action to His liking.

Unlocking The Gifts He's Given You

I lived in the middle area from 2018 to 2022. During the spring of 2022 I embarked on a serious fast for 30 days, and that set me up to hear Him better. I was fasting for something specific, and I didn't get an answer on that. However, what changed was my ability to hear Him better. I could sense "where" He was moving, and I just followed.

I did another intense fast in October of 2022 and it was during this one that I had an overwhelming experience with the Holy Spirit, and He unlocked my ability to know what He was doing. Shortly after that He led me to study and learn about the gifts He had given me.

What's so odd about this entire experience with the Lord is the fact that I had studied gifting and how God gifts His children, but I had never spent time with Him learning about my gifts. The first time I felt as though I was given a purpose on earth was when my mom had me take a Myers Briggs test when I was 13 and I thought, "I was made on purpose!" Up until that point I was sure I was an accident. Or maybe more specifically, a cast-off. And no-one had told me any differently.

Taking that test caused me to dive deeper into understanding the gifts of the Holy Spirit. But in all that getting and knowing, I missed what I was being drawn to, and I didn't lean into learning how to wield the gifts He gave me.

We need people to speak life into the areas that we are gifted and called to, but if you've never had that (as I didn't), don't fret. The Holy Spirit is the giver of gifts, and He Himself will give what He wants you to have and teach you about it.

Often we're so busy wanting what someone else has that we miss what our own gifts are. When we become more infatuated with someone else's life, their path and calling, we'll completely miss what our own is. God can't activate your gift if you're too busy watching someone else live out theirs.

After reading a few books that lit up the Holy Spirit's gifts in my life, the Lord took over and shaped and molded me into His service. Through praying and waiting on Him, I learned what it was He wanted me to do for Him.

Understanding the ways in which the Holy Spirit has gifted you will change your walk with Him. It will ignite a purpose within you, and give you a future and a hope.

I needed some deeper heart work before I could even get to this point. I needed His wisdom before I could walk in His gifting, I needed His friendship before I could understand how to wield the gifts He gives.

Not everyone requires the level of early training that God put me through. If you have wisdom, knowledge, you know how to call on Him but that's where you're stuck, then this is where you begin! Start fasting and seeking His face for the gifts He's given you. Take a spiritual gifts quiz. This will help you with where to start, and then let the Holy Spirit lead on.

My suggestion to you would be to take more than 1 quiz. Usually it's a combination of quizzes that help you hone in on the top 1-3 spiritual gifts that you have. Here are a few resources to help you get started:

• https://giftstest.com/
• https://gifts.churchgrowth.org/spiritual-gifts-survey/
• https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/women-leadership-spiritual-gifts-growth-service
• https://spiritualgiftstest.com/

Every believer has at least 1 gift. What I have found is that as you cultivate that gift, the Holy Spirit sees you as faithful to what He has given you and He gives you more. This is the meaning of the parable of the talents. When we use what God has given us He opens the storehouses.

After you discover what your top few are, take a few days and pray about which one the Lord would like you to focus on. Ask Him to lead you to books or resources, to ministries or people who can give you the tools to grow in that gift. Don't be afraid to use what He has given you- this is one of the greatest keys to unlocking His will for your life.

Give Thanks, For This Is God's Will For Us

I probably should have put this as the number 1 thing!

"In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Want to know God's will for you? Give thanks to Him in all circumstances.

We have a tendency to think He's against us when life is hard. But maybe, maybe, life is hard on purpose? Paul learned that all in circumstances He should give thanks to God because this is God's will for him. What is God's will for him? It's stated in the earlier part of the verse: every situation, so therefore Paul aught to thank the Lord for it.

Paul's letters are a testimony to what God did in and through him. He was thrown in prison and people were saved because of it. He was beaten, abused and tormented, and people were saved because of it. He was shipwrecked and stuck on an island. and the entire crew witnessed the power of God. Not only that, but Paul was able to bring the gospel to the people of Malta as well!

Every circumstance is a chance for us to see where God is at work and how we can be a testimony for His goodness. When we went through hardship and God brought us through, we gave thanks. But during that season, I learned to give thanks. I have had a lot of hard months, and in those I learned how to thank God.

One particular hardship was the last 6-8 weeks of my twin pregnancy. My body was shredding apart to accommodate 2 babies. Night after night I would cry for hours because of the pain. Instead of the Lord taking my pain, Jesus came to me night after night. Every evening I had visions of His body being stripped of flesh, as lash after lash stripped His back. I saw His body nailed to a cross, the nails driving through skin, snapping tendons, and piercing veins. When the cross was thudded into place, His whole body slammed down the wood, causing splinters to go into the open wounds.

And no, He didn't take my pain. Instead, He met me in mine by showing me His. I experienced the slightest, tiniest, not even a sliver of the pain He experienced for me. And He went through that for you too.

Now when I partake of communion, I remember what He went through because He let me see it. Now when I eat the bread, I know what it meant and how broken He was for me. That's more than a gift, that's unbelievable understanding of His grace. I don't want to go back to that season, but I wouldn't trade that season out for anything easier. I got to know my Jesus through my suffering, and in that I give thanks.

It was excruciating bringing two babies into the world. It was horrific what He went through to forgive us. He delivered on a promise, and brought forth total and complete wholeness in Him.

Sometimes our circumstances are what they are because we're birthing a new way of thinking, believing or understanding - it doesn't come through a painless delivery. That doesn't mean all deliveries are painful! Some are beautiful, powerful and filled with glory!

But some require a deeper understanding of who He is and what He did - and we're not the best learners without some level of uncomfortable truth confronting our lopsided reality.

So, if your circumstances are less than ideal today, God's will for you is that you learn to praise Him in it and thank Him for it. Because He brought you here on purpose, for a purpose, to fulfill His will in your life. This isn't a punishment, it's a divine intervention to birth something new.

Now Walk In It

You're here, so chances are that you want to grow deeper in your understanding of God's will for your life. In that case, whichever point shed light on your life as an area that might be missing- that's your beginning point.

If it's wisdom, begin praying for wisdom. My prayers are just a starting point. Find Bible verses about wisdom that resonate with you and make a prayer out of it. Make this yours!

If growing in your friendship with the Lord is where you're at- start calling Him instead of friends or family. It's not that they aren't good sources for us, but they often don't have the answers we're really seeking. It might feel good to call them, but that feeling doesn't last. So call on the Lord. His friendship lasts. And He's always available, day or night.

Maybe you're stuck on your purpose. Take a few spiritual gifts quizzes. If you already know your gifts, are you walking in them? The fullness of them? I just finished a book last week called Heavenly Secrets To Unwrapping Your Spiritual Gifts by Tracy Cooke. It's fantastic. He does a great job of breaking down each spiritual gift, praying for those gifts to activate, and how God has an assignment for each of us in this life. I highly recommend it!

Or perhaps none of those resonated but the final one hit like a gut punch. I never learned how to thank God for all things in my life, the good and the hard. But He taught me how. Now I can clearly see when the enemy throws a dart, why he's throwing it, and what God's doing with it (cause the enemy can't throw it unless God allows it or we give him access!) That access part, that's a whole different lesson.

But sometimes our circumstances are hard because we keep giving the enemy access to our lives, and we have to learn to cut him off. And so we can thank the Lord for those hard times. Because it was in that season that we learned how to cut off the giants head, to take back what the enemy stole, or to shut the door that we opened.

This is also another lesson altogether but I'll briefly state the point of it here: if someone else kicked a door open in your life through trauma or abuse, those are doors you didn't open but God still needs to teach you how to shut them. This is where most of my hard situations came into play, it was in shutting these doors that I learned to thank God for what I didn't know or needed to learn.

In all things, we can thank God for His tender care, concern and desire to see us free in Christ Jesus. No matter where you are on the journey today, He loves you and wants to bring you up higher and to grow deeper with Him.

Are you ready to walk in it?

Writing to you with joy,

Jessica